A Collection Of Short Intervals
by BAMFstoat
Summary: What the title says-first one, Use The Pies
1. 1 Pies

Well I had a load of little ideas that wouldn't make a whole story, and so I have now formed the (drum roll please) INTERVALS! This one is about Pietro. Only because I had a weird idea about his name. Here it is:  
  
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INTERVAL 1- USE THE PIES  
  
(FLASHBACK)  
  
"Ah my son, I am glad you have made this choice, it is the turning point in your life."  
  
"I know."  
  
"Then I shall begin, in the beginning."  
  
(BACK TO NOW)  
  
"YOU DID WHAT?!"  
  
"I ran away to join a Pie-Monastery and changed my name to show my respect to the great Pie God."  
  
"How could you do that without telling me?"  
  
"Jeez calm down Dad, not like you ever cared about what I did."  
  
"Do not speak to me like that Seymour!"  
  
"Dad, how many times do I have to tell you, in honour of the great Pie God my name's Pietro!"  
  
"I shall never call you that Seymour!"  
  
"Look, you call yourself Magneto cos you're embarrassed about your real name, what's so different?"  
  
"BECAUSE it's a weird thing that all mutants must do, give themselves a stupid nickname, I would have no problem if you changed your name to your stupid nickname, but NO you have to go and change your name for a Pie God!"  
  
"Do not speak of the great Pie God disbeliever!"  
  
"I, oh dear, ok, so what does being a Pie Monk mean then son?"  
  
"What's with the sudden interest?"  
  
"I, oh you'd find out one day, I've been going to a parenting class for Evil Tyrants Bent On Taking Over The World, though we never covered sons running off to join the Pie-Monks, should point that out next meeting."  
  
"You did that for me? Aw Dad, that's so sweet!"  
  
"I, yes I suppose it is, after I kind of killed the giant green spider that got blown up by a bus but none of the inhabitants of London seemed to notice, things kinda got put in perspective."  
  
"I, no. Sorry father, but I must follow my calling. To become a travelling Pie-Monk and spread the faith. You get free pie samples, want a pie?"  
  
"No Seymour, I can't say I'm not disappointed but if this is what you must do, then I can't stop you. Go and follow your dreams. Even if they don't include taking over the world."  
  
"You don't know much that means to me coming from you," sobbed Seymour, or Pietro or whatever he's called.  
  
(AT PARENTING CLASS)  
  
"And then we agreed to send postcards and exchange pie-samples," said Magneto, "sorry, I'm welling up here."  
  
"That is so beautiful!" sighed Elvis, "if only I had the same relationship with my son, you're lucky that your son actually showed some signs of wanting to help you take over the world, my Engelburt is only interested in 'football'."  
  
"I am so sorry Elvis."  
  
"Yeah well, if anyone's gonna take over the world it'll be you Mags, I mean, you have the cool cape and helmet and stupid mutant nickname. Oh and you can do that dodgy metal thing. What chance so I have, all I can do is throw apples at dogs."  
  
"Yeah, I agree, er I mean, cheer up! You'll be bossing me around before the end of the year I bet human!" joked Magneto.  
  
(NEAR SOME SEA SOMEWHERE)  
  
"If I want to spread the word of the great Pie-God I'll have to go overseas," pondered Pietro, "how'll I do that?"  
  
"Use the Piedish!"  
  
"Who said that?"  
  
"It was me, Skoda."  
  
"Yoda?"  
  
"No, Skoda."  
  
"Show yourself!"  
  
"Do not fear Pietro, I have been following you for a while, you are a true believer and I shall help you in your quest."  
  
A seagull swaggered over to where Pietro stood.  
  
"Use the Mega-Super-Ultra-Over-Priced Pie Dish to sail over the sea."  
  
"Why did I never think of that?" sighed Pietro.  
  
"One day you shall be as wise as me," answered the seagull named Skoda.  
  
And so the duo sailed over the sea and spread the word of the Pie God. Magneto kept going to parenting classes and formed a beautiful bond with Elvis who pretended to have a mutant power of apple throwing and chose the stupid nickname of Granny Smith.  
  
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That is the first of the intervals, yup. Weird idea that came to me one day, whaddya think? I have many more ideas like this lined up! 


	2. 2 Betty Bootwinkle

The second of my intervals, this one featuring, well you'll see! This idea came to me one night whilst I was watching TV. Yeah. Anyway, I don't own any characters cos that would be dumb cos my names not Marvel. I kind of own Betty Bootwinkle, but er, use her if you want. I don't love her! I feel like turning this into a songfic, and why not! The song has nothing to do with anything though, YAY! Guess what it is-

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Interval 2: Betty Bootwinkle

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"Hello my little Acolyte or whatever the hell I call you friends, I'm popping off now!" sang Mags.

"Where too oh loyal master?" asked Sabretooth.

"Oh you know, the MALL!"

"Really? That will be a most wonderful treat!" squealed Sabertooth clapping his hands together.

(I can't spell his name, so I'll make it a thing so I don't look dumb)

"Oh Magneto, don't forget your helmet!" said Colossus rushing over in his tutu.

"Thank you friend."

__

Ground Control to Major Tom  
Ground Control to Major Tom  
Take your protein pills   
and put your helmet on

"I'm off bye." Grunted Wolverine.

"Where you going?" asked Cyclops.

(This one, I'm only going to use codenames! YAY! Read my other stories and you'll see a distinct lack of em.)

"Out."

"Vhats in ze bag?" asked Nightcrawler.

"Dunno, now scram!"

"Iz zat PINK I can see?"  


"NO, get yer eyes tested whilst I'm gone. Now GET OUTTA THE WAY!"

"Hey Wolverine, where you going?" asked Professor X.

"NOWHERE!"

"Don't lie to me you insolent wretch!" cried the Prof. and ran over Wolverines toes numerous times in his wheelchair before zooming off yelling;

"POWER TO THE BALDIES!"

  
  
_Ground Control to Major Tom  
Commencing countdown,   
engines on  
Check ignition   
and may God's love be with you_

"Ok guys, whilst I'm gone, don't forget to flay the Gambit!" said Magneto.

"You mean the one you keep chained up in the cupboard?"

(I have been watching too much Bo Selecta)

"Yes Pyro, I don't like him. Neither does the authoring dude. In fact, she has a little message for us!"

DOWN WITH GAMBIT! FLAY HIM! FLAY HIM! DOWN WITH ROGUE! FLAY HER AS WELL! LONG LIVE CYCLOPS AND NIGHTCRAWLER!

(I had to vent my spleen there)

"Don't worry your pretty head Magneto!" assured Colossus, "we know what to do!"

"Ok, I'm off then in 10 seconds!"  
  
_[spoken]  
Ten, Nine, Eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, Lift-off_

"Hey mommy! I'm going out now!"

"Where too Betty Bootwinkle?" asked her mum, hands on hips.

"I'm going to practice my ballet silly!" laughed Betty Bootwinkle.

"Who's going with you?"

"My new friends, Maggie and Logretta!" and Betty Bootwinkle smiled a little cute girly smile.

"Oh, I'd rather meet these friends before you go, but seeing as I'm a responsible mother, you can go! I mean after all, these are complete strangers to me and you are only 7 and probably won't get back till 10PM seeing as it's 8 now, so go enjoy yourself!"  


"Yay! THANKS!" and Betty Bootwinkle ran off.

__

  
  
This is Ground Control   
to Major Tom  
You've really made the grade  
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear  
Now it's time to leave the capsule   
if you dare

Wolverine had a big coat around him and was wearing a very very cool beret to conceal his appearance. He walked towards the meeting place, going over his moves in his head, how he would deal with all possibilities. He was prepared. He looked at the large building in front of him, took a deep breath and stepped inside._  
  
This is Major Tom to Ground Control  
I'm stepping through the door  
And I'm floating   
in a most peculiar way  
And the stars look very different today  
_

Magneto on the other hand had a fedora (the king of all hats) on top of his helmet and was wearing his normal, swooshy cloak thingy. He came to the same building that Wolverine had entered and did the same thing. Nearly. 

__

  
For here  
Am I sitting in a tin can  
Far above the world  
Planet Earth is blue  
And there's nothing I can do

Betty Bootwinkle skipped along the road in her pretty pink dress with her pretty blonde hair in pigtails. She sang a lovely little song and kept kissing her teddy bear. 

"Tra la la!" she sang as she skipped through a big 'ole door.

__

  
Though I'm past   
one hundred thousand miles  
I'm feeling very still  
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go  
Tell my wife I love her very much   
she knows

"You think you're ready Mags?" asked Wolverine with a sneer on his face.

"Oh yes my small furry mammal like friend, the question is, are you?" answered Magneto in his cool accent.

"Yeah well, let's hope that our teacher arrives soon," grunted Wolverine, "in the meantime, I'm getting' changed, _here."_

Magneto got the hint and turned around.

"Don't worry my friend, I won't peek. Anyway, I doubt there's much to see."

"You little-" growled Wolverine leaping gracefully through the air.

"Oi! Stop fighting! And Logretta, why do you have no clothes on?" asked Betty Bootwinkle flashing a little smile.

"Er, yeah, don't look kid."

"Come on, you have to put your clothes on, did you remember them? I remembered mine. I had them cleaned 'specially." Babbled Betty Bootwinkle.

"Look, I'm putting em on kid! How could I forgit em!" answered Wolverine.

"What about you Maggie?"

"Child, do not fear!"_  
  
Ground Control to Major Tom  
Your circuit's dead,  
there's something wrong  
Can you hear me, Major Tom?  
Can you hear me, Major Tom?  
Can you hear me, Major Tom?  
Can you...._

"Ok, Maggie, you know what to do!"

Wolverine and Magneto were wearing matching pink ballet outfits and were standing ready to go, Magneto used his amazing mutant ability and made Wolverine do a perfect can-can, he then proceeded to more graceful dance moves.

"Oh you look so pretty!" exclaimed Betty Bootwinkle, "I taught you well didn't you!" and she clapped her hands together in excitement.

Wolverine was chuffed. Him and Magneto had spent months preparing for the talent show, and now they were prepared, he adjusted the tiara in his hair and with a huge smile plastered over his face, continued with his dance._  
  
Here am I floating   
round my tin can  
Far above the Moon  
Planet Earth is blue  
And there's nothing I can do._

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Wow! Wasn't that great? It started off evo-verse, but might have turned movie-verse halfway through. But anyway, I apologise to all Gambit and Rogue fans for that spot of bashing, but I'm sure you'll live! I also apologise for my sad attempts to tie the song in with the story; I turned into a songfic for reasons still unknown to me, but- WHY THE HECK NOT EH? Hahaha yes, this BAMFstoat, signing off!


End file.
